duplicity inbox.

[mcferrin]

【ｔｅｘｔ　|　ｖｉｄｅｏ　|　ｖｏｉｃｅ　|　ａｃｔｉｏｎ】

Comments

[mcferrin]

[ he's gonna screenshot and send that first sentence to andy

then he's gonna send nick a very tasteful selfie of him leaning against the counter, his arm wrapped around the shoulder of said friend. gansey's hands are on his waist and he's giving henry what looks like, from this angle, probably just a friendly kiss on the cheek. ]

[extent]

omg henry u minx
dont knock anything over u might accidentally spill a potion + hex his dick off

[mcferrin]

???? Are you speaking from experience?

bc I might just be better at this than you.

[extent]

wow i have never hexed a dick off i just know it to be possible w the stuff we got back there

u could be better at it than me tho u'll never know until u try 😌

[mcferrin]

I am trying, except you keep texting me.

We'll circle back to why you guys made a potion that hexes dicks off later.

[extent]

thats what its supposed to do i unsurprisingly havent found anyone willing to try it out yet

i already told u im bored the onus is on u to go get urself laid @ work and then report back 2 me later obviously

[mcferrin]

I'm going to block your number for like an hour, but it's not personal. Read a book or something ok.

[extent]

i'm sorry i actually cant read :( ik its so sad

[mcferrin]

[ fully an hour or so later ]
We got a customer 😡

Also I wouldn't have had to take your job if you hadn't gotten yourself grounded.

[extent]

thats why u fuck out back henry smh honestly, just make them wait

its not my fault my bf is convinced im unlucky enough to meet another awful demise just bc the timing is bad

[mcferrin]

Some of us actually do work at work. Also he's very polite.

And that sounds very much like it's your fault.

[extent]

if he was out back he wouldnt even have known he was being impolite + causing u to avoid customers

i was mauled by a rogue weretigerperson!! who could possibly plan or account 4 that
clearly a freak accident that wouldnt repeat itself

[mcferrin]

You don't think that is the kind of thing that could happen? During Tumenalia?

[extent]

oh, come on, who's gonna bother killing me?

[mcferrin]

Literally anyone. Haven't you ever seen The Purge?

[extent]

ok but tbh anyone could probably get away with killing me like any time + would probably just have to pay kyle a fine or some fucked up shit like that
idt anyone's holding out for a special occasion 2 off me

think abt it the logic is totally sound

[mcferrin]

What the hell are you talking about, bro. Do you think the tiger was targeting you? Specifically?

[extent]

actually fun fact i didnt think so but she did say it was lowkey bc i smelled like vamps but like u cant tell anyone that

anyway no but i also think if i get murdered in the next <24hrs it would presumably be intentional + not a repeat freak accident like how unlucky could one person be?

[mcferrin]

Ew.

tbh I think the reason you're grounded is because you don't really understand statistics and also say things like "if i get murdered in the next <24hrs it would presumably be intentional"

[extent]

omg stop i live with one

i just dont think its really a risk for me to go like get a coffee or something??? like sure i dont want to be a vampire + dying and turning would be a nightmare that i literally couldnt wake up from + itd ruin my life but i just
still dont see why i cant leave the house

[mcferrin]

Leave then?

[extent]

i dont want to upset kyle

[mcferrin]

Yo, have you explained to him that while you definitely don't want to become a vampire - an eternal state of being undead, forever - you also don't want to stay home (the only place where the odds of this happening are 0%) for one more day because you're really bored?

I think he would understand, actually.

[extent]

he actually wasnt very understanding of my pov
i'm pretty sure i'd be fine i usually am

[mcferrin]

I'm blocking you again to give you time to think about what you just said.
Then I might snitch to Nate.