mcferrin | duplicity inbox.

[ yeah. scaring her is exactly what he was afraid of.

he would never let anything like that, whatever it was, happen on purpose. he could easily tell her that he has it under control, but that would be a lie. she'd probably know it was a lie, considering she's one of the only people he's ever remarked about his sexuality to at all.

but something else sticks out to him and he's definitely going to use that as a detour from the topic if he can get away with it. ]

...who's Noah?

[ she types the name like it should be obvious, but he's drawing a blank. ]

( it makes sense that he doesn't know noah, once she actually thinks about it. it's just that the idea is unthinkable that they're any less than a complete unit, until his confusion brings that to startling attention.

it's a very effective diversion, because she immediately needs to rectify that. )

Noah Czerny. He's our friend, it's...complicated. But he's fantastic, you should meet him. I think you would get along pretty well.

Noah... Czerny?

[ henry knows that name. where does he know that name from. his thinks about it for a few more seconds until it clicks. ]

Wait. Noah Czerny died eight years ago. And he's... your friend? Am I thinking of someone else?

Like I said, it's complicated. But yes, we're friends.

( its a long and involved story, and honestly blue isn't sure how much of it is even hers to tell. she's very sure that they have to meet, though. have to be friends, actually. anything less just...doesn't make sense. they're all a package deal, now. )

Maybe when we get you up here, he could come around? It's not like we can sit around watching movies, but I'm sure we could find something fun for us all to do.

[ well. henry supposes it's not the strangest thing that has happened, they do have a mutual friend who has so far died twice. that's not what bothers him.

why didn't he know about this? true, it's not really business related, but it was still sort of his job to know. and he doesn't even have the excuse of declan hiding it on purpose, as far as he knows. ]

Oh. Yes of course. And by "something fun for us all to do" you mean... board games or...

[ after all, movies are already off the table and considering the topic of conversation they were previously talking around... he had to ask, right? ]

No, Henry, I meant an orgy.

( it's obviously sarcasm.

right?

she reads her message again, reads his again, reads her previous ones, and his. again.

two weeks and a whole sex city kidnapping ago, she wouldn't have thought twice about the comment. a little crass for her usual style maybe, but flippant enough to fit in well with her usual retorts. now...who knows. )

That was a joke. I meant dinner or board games or something. Maybe poking fun at the weird TV shows they have here if we really run out of things to do.

[ henry types "haha" and then deletes it. his face is embarrassingly warm. he knew that. he knows that. the whole point of texting was to make it not awkward. great job, cheng. he rolls his eyes at himself. ]

Disappointing, Aquamarine. Threesome with a zombie could have been on my bucket list, you don't know.

Also... I can't really cook so I hope that's not part of the deal.

I'll reserve judgement until you tell me if the bucket list was written before or after you got here.

( the beauty of not having a phone is that you can't reread messages until you've dissected every shred of meaning out of them. maybe blue should tell everyone it's broken — a conversation like this would have played out very differently in person. but it would be weird to backtrack so significantly now, when they're talking about dinner plans.

but she wants to ask. she wants to know if he meant 'no' here or 'no' ever. she wants to know if 'disappointing' is a joke, too. she wants to know if ronan is right about them.

this is going to kill her. )

I can cook. Well, I can make some meals. Well, I can make two meals, but they're very edible from what I remember. How do you feel about breakfast for dinner?

[ oh. hold on. he doesn't... she knows that he doesn't actually have... that he was kidding, right? henry pauses again. he knows he was just thinking that it was good they were taking over text, but maybe it is very bad actually.

the thing is- the thing is that henry doesn't make plans he doesn't intend to follow through on, as a general rule. and... even if he'd ever thought about such a list, it definitely didn't seem pertinent when arranging a road trip with his two most cosmically unavailable friends. right? right. pointless to even allow himself to...

henry shakes his head. ]

Lol

[ he's going to have an aneurysm. ]

Sounds perfect. I could eat breakfast any time of day.

If I had to guess your actual bucket list I would just assume it's at least 75% weird places you want to convince us to visit.

( because that part, she assumes is a joke, but even a joke can spawn a hundred thousand questions each more complex than the last. a lot of them currently centred around threesomes, and specifically her and henry and gansey and what exactly it is they get up to on this "hippie road trip".

it's nice to know that they all go, though. )

So when can I expect you? I'll need to find something for you to fix, I want to see the handyman skills you've picked up in your time on the other side of the tracks.

Convince you? If you're telling me you wouldn't want to visit Cadillac Ranch, or the Unclaimed Baggage Center, or the High Trestle Bridge, or every single chocolatier in Puebla, or at least four volcanos - I don't believe that for one minute.

[ he is deadly serious about all of those things. at least... he was. he would've been if their change to actually go hadn't been ripped away. the thought makes his throat tighten, and as glad as he was for the change in subject a moment ago, he's suddenly feeling more trapped than ever.

oh. where was he? right, visiting. or moving. ]

I don't have much to pack. And yes, I'm great at fixing now. I can fix anything. As long as it can be fixed with duct tape.

Every single one of those places sounds great, actually.

( it kind of ruins whatever joke she's playing at — there was a joke in there somewhere, right? she's absolutely sincere in that conviction, and some wistful, hopeful part of her wants to be on the way to these places already, so badly it aches all the way to her toes.

it's not hard for blue to be angry about this place, but she at least tries to channel that into some righteous fury about the state of things, the way this place is structured. right now, it just feels unfair. she has so much ahead of her. )

Ah yes, a handyman classic. If you need help with grabbing anything, I could give you a hand.
Or if you need a minute, if it's too fast or whatever. I won't be offended if you don't want to haul yourself up here right away.

( she won't exactly be happy about it, but this is...a lot. this conversation has felt like a lot. if blue is feeling a little overwhelmed, she can only imagine henry is, and if she forces him into this too quickly just because it's what she wants—

well. there's few things worse that she can think of, right now. )

Well maybe we can find an equally interesting tourist trap to visit while we're here. Like World's Largest Anal Beads or... Oddly Shaped Dildo Museum.

[ it's the only way not to be angry all of the time.

henry wants to go immediately. but he also doesn't yet trust himself to remain stoic when he sees her face-to-face. he just spent a lot of time trying to convince her and ronan both that he was mostly unaffected by the situation, and if he doesn't at least take a moment to sort himself out it will be instantly obvious what a big lie that was. that he's been hoping they would think about him after all. that he's kinda desperate to see her.

he's suffered enough embarrassment for one day. and there's too much at stake not to undertake this with a clear head. ]

It's

kind of late.

How about I just make sure I have everything. And then I'll meet you tomorrow?

Maybe we can take a walking tour some time. It could be funny.

( it's not the plans she wants, but it's some poor kind of consolation prize for now. admittedly she thinks that doing just about anything with henry would be fun, but if he's trying to recreate their gap year plans, even tongue in cheek, maybe it's important to him too.

god, she needs to ask henry if he knows what the hell ronan is talking about. )

Yeah of course, that's absolutely fair. It's probably not a good idea for either of us wandering around at this sort of time anyway.

But you will come tomorrow, right?

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